Here's where it all goes down hill...

Every time I've tried blogging, it all goes down hill on the second blog. Yes, despite the clever title of my last blog, I've actually blogged before. Twice. First one was good. I had a lot of compliments. Then I got lazy. Or bored. Or I set the bar so high there was no way I could keep up with it. Let's go with that. The truth is, sometimes I felt like I was not too creative. Other times I worried I was going to write something that stunk and then what am I going to do. I mean, come on, how creative can one guy be (if Steven Spielberg is reading this right now, save it. We all know you're great.)? But really, I did kind of feel like, "Well, if I write a pathetic one, what will people say about me? If I deliver a couple of crappy blogs, people will get bored, and then they'll stop telling me how great I am." It became a little easier to just not write than it was to try and deliver the goods constantly.

Faith can be something like that. I was thinking about this story of a young man that spoke to Jesus in this light. This guy was rich in a society where there was either rich or abject poverty. Middle class was not invented yet. So here's this rich guy who comes to Jesus saying, "What must I do to inherit eternal life?" Jesus tells him stuff we would say, "Don't kill, don't steal, don't lie, don't cheat." Pretty basic way to live life. And they guy says, "Done and done." So then Jesus stops. If I'm imagining this in a movie, I imagine its one of those times when the camera focuses on Jesus. Everything focuses on him, and Jesus gives this guy a look over. He grabs his beard all "HMMMMM" like. And he looks at this young guy. There's a great dramatic score underneath as Jesus looks at this young man. The young man is waiting to hear the Teacher's words. The drama builds. And then he hears, "...

I wonder what was going through this young man's mind. I wonder if he's trying to show off to his friends. He's trying to get this Rabbi to say, "You're all right by me." "Dang, dude. You're rockin' it out." Or maybe, when I look at him through my eyes, I see something different. I wonder if he's like me. I think when I ask what I must do to inherit eternal life, I'm asking Jesus, "Do you like me?" You know? It's like, Jesus, just tell me that you like me. Just tell me that you think I'm a pretty good guy. And then Jesus says something that shatters this guy's view: "Give all you have to the poor, then you'll have treasure in heaven. Then come follow me." WHAT? Sure sounds like a no to me. "Gotta earn my love, bud." And my spirit is crushed, because once again rejection comes from someone I so desperately need to love me. But there's something else going on here, I think.

You see, I think Jesus was saying more than just, "Nope. Not good enough." I think what Jesus was saying was, "It's hard. Dang hard. If you want to inherit eternal life, it's almost impossible. But I've got a secret: I believe in you. You can do it. I'm going to tell you what to do because I don't want you to sell out for anything less than eternal life. I want to tell you the whole truth because I love you enough not to lie to you. Give it all up. Follow me." Jesus won't let us settle for anything less than full-on following Him. Why? Because I believe Jesus believes in us. He doesn't just like us. He loves and believes in us. He believes we can follow him, as hard as it is. Giving up everything is not just kind of important, it's everything. And he believes in you and me. We can do it.

So I start thinking about this blogging thing. I can do it. I can have something of importance to say. But most of all, I don't have to worry about people liking me. The goal of writing this is not that you like me (I just hope for it to be a fringe benefit). My real goal of writing is to offer something of myself to Jesus. That if in my writing someone might decide Jesus is alright, worthy of following, worthy of giving up everything for. And being reminded that Jesus believes in me. As I embrace the light of that, I find peace, and love. So I guess I'll try and keep this up. Wouldn't mind hearing what you think, though.